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Yatsufusa

12 Movie Reviews w/ Response

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I wasn't a particular fan of the VHS-effect, but the animation was surprisingly smooth and the lip-syncing was done very well.

In terms of story: The fact that many of the people depicted were either extraterrestrials or robots was not 'lost' on me, but I feel that that the deeper meaning behind that could have been incorporated better into the animation to make the sketch more 'your own'. The reactions of the alienated kids were a good step, but I would have preferred a bit more 'Transformative Use', if you will. ;)

I am usually not a fan of animation made as animation for a professionally produced scene that already exists (or some YouTubers). It's borrowed/transplanted humor so even if the animation compliments it nicely, it usually feels like a lesser version of the original. Although you did a good job this is also the case here.
But that being said...: "Dude, that was a _superb_ choice of audio!" The sketch is from 1997, so unlike animations set to a conversation of popular YouTubers that happened 1 to 3 months ago, most of the people who are going to see this will be unfamiliar with it when they first watch it - or it has been so long that only vaguely remember the original.
But above all else: The timing for the release could hardly have been better. This very much reflects what an international audience expects when an elected official from the US steps in front of a microphone for the next 4-ish years.

I would have preferred if the video had credits, so it would be a bit harder for others to claim that 'they' have made this. Not just your name/online handle but also the credits for the original audio. At the time of writing, the description only credits the source as "Original Audio: Mr. Show".
You have lots of space to spare. My non-committal recommendation would be something that looks like this:
"Original Audio: Mr. Show with Bob and David (Series, 1995 to 1998), (S03E06: Goin' on a Holiday) (1997) (Sketch: 'Blowing Up The Moon')"
The description could also have a link to the website where you've got it from or at least a Wikipedia/IMDB-link embedded (like this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Show_with_Bob_and_David#Season_3_(1997) )

One last thing of note in terms of presentation would be the tag situation. You used #comedy, but it's already in one of the two Comedy categories on Newgrounds, so that seems a little redundant. And you are using #animation... On a website that hosts 99.x% animations in their Movie Portal. I'm sure you can do better. (You have a limit of 12 tags.)
Which tools you used would also be helpful information for other animators.

I hope this helps.

itsTKen responds:

This helps so much, thank you for the awesome feedback! Still gettin used to the site so this is very insightful!

That was 'something'. :)

Let's start with the visual elements... I am not a kind enough person to lie: Your "animation" barely deserves to be called that and your drawings are very rough. Your Art Portal submissions look better, so I presume you are still getting used to the software you use to animate or that you were on a deadline of sorts. I am not sure what the bit at 2:08 is meant to represent, but to the uninitiated it looks as if you just gave up. On top of that, there's some very noticeable artifacting.
Overall, I get the impression that you might benefit from getting yourself a better program to animate with. Here's a selection of what NG recommends in this regard (many of those are free-to-use):
https://www.newgrounds.com/wiki/creator-resources/animation-resources

Now for the audio: As unimpressed as I was with the visuals, both your voice acting and the recording were done well. The sudden stop before you finished your last sentence was really unfortunate. There was occasional rustling of papers from turning the pages of the script, some cuts were made too hasty, and some minor issues with your pacing occurred with longer passages... But other than that your delivery was very stable and easy to understand. Considering that this was your first video with audio, this was impressive. ('And' you picked a good volume - something beginners often ignore.)
I would even go so far to recommend you to look into voice acting. Maybe consider recording other edutainment texts, poetry, or short stories that are no longer under copyright. The works of H. P. Lovecraft are popular choices and will always find an audience, but if you're hardcore, you could read 'The Communist Manifesto' by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. ;)

Lastly: The writing. When I was greeted with a 2-frame animation at the start of the video I did _not_ expect that I would watch this video to completion. Sometimes you do not know what you want until you find it. And it seems 'today' I wanted to be educated about the logistics of building a medieval castle. ;3

GoldenWeaveAnimation responds:

Thank you for th' honest review!

I will take your criticisms into consideration, thank you for the resources link.

The animation is flawed, I used flipanim to do it, and there where numerous times when a large chunk of animation frames where not saved and I had to hastily remake a bunch of frames that looked better before they where deleted.

I was on a time crunch, I had to publish this before January ended. I succeeded in that, with less than half an hour to spare before midnight.

I feel like there is a 'message' here somewhere... :)

You did a good job with the yolk, directing the viewers' focus where you want it. Actually: You did a good job with the movements of 'all' the individual parts. The camera panning was very smooth and well paced - not too fast, not too quick. I felt as if the amount of egg white was a bit gratuitous, but that was probably intended and on pars with similar scenes that use the red juice instead of the white one.

If I may get 'artsy' for a moment: The kitchen background used was eye-pleasing in its own right (nice kettle!). The transition from the more complex 'toaster backdrop' to the bleaker and empty 'single-use napkin holder backdrop' goes very well with what is about to happen...

And yeah: _Really_ liked the message. But that being said, the animation is what it is: A short demonstration of your capabilities as an animator - without a story arc or depth to the character(s).

I'm looking forward to your future submissions. Which is to say: Welcome to Newgrounds! You've gotten yourself your first fan here. :)

NineFoldCreations responds:

You’ve just made my night, thank you so much for your kind words🥺.

Very nice animation. I see not only a moral on greed but also a moral on violence in it.

Your movie reminds me strongly of eyezmaze.com. Is there any connection?

Normero responds:

I love eyezmaze and can't deny that I didn't get inspired by it, but no connection :)

Dance is the hidden language of the soul...

Although it's not my personal kind of humor, the ideas are new and original and the song itself is pretty neat. Overall it's a nice piece of work.

I like subtitles, but sadly they are sometimes unreadable. If you could add black borders to your white font it would solve the problem.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

i couldnt work out how to do that in flash, but luckily you can hear the words so you should be fine.

It's a great work, as far as single scenes go.

I simply love the concept as well as the art. The whole scene appears really 'alive', although you could also animate the rest of her shoulders to let her move more anatomical correct - nice job with her hand btw.
On top of that you have written a beautifully gloomy story. Maybe try to merge it into the animation next time, for I'm afraid many Newgrounders skip the comments right away and miss out on your story.

TaintedNeedle responds:

Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. I agree, this probably would be better as a story, but I wanted to get it finished in time for Halloween :) Otherwise, I would have.

Just wow!

I got up early today and this was the first flash I watched. When I witnessed you 'breaking the bonds' at first I thought I was still dreaming.
You sir, made my day!

(And yes, it may be a simple trick, but one would have to come up with it in the first place...)

ScrewdriverClock responds:

Breaking the laws of physics and shedding the mortal coil to break the bounds of reality is no "simple trick" my friend, but if it helps you comprehend the magnitude of this happening, all power to you.

Wait... what?

I already heard Twilight was bad, but this really takes the cake...
The voices could be a little louder compared to the sound effects and it absolutely NEEDS a replay-button: I had to watch this twice to believe it.

TheDistortionProject responds:

I just figured out how to make a play button haha, I'll be sure to include a replay in my next vids. Thanks for the feedback :)

Unfinished

I like how much thought you spend on the play-button. Your work looks good so far, but the animation suddenly stops, so I'll rate it like a beta...
I've read your comment, but if you ever find the time to finish it I would gladly vote higher.

Pattiasina24 responds:

Well, actually, I didn't create the preloader, a friend of mine did for our site. Also, thank you, I guess uploading to the other NG Portal would have been appropriate.

'Less' PMs & comments from me but I'll try.
Also this:
https://yatsufusa.newgrounds.com/news/post/1525582
·
Links for artists _still_ below.

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