'Tis the 13th!
Frankly, I am not a fan of circlejerk posts. On the other hand, I read an obscene number of News Posts and have done so for quite a while, giving me a good overview of what the quality of an average post is like... (Spoilers: Abysmal!)
So I thought: I might not have the most complete overview of the last months, because life has not been kind to me - but on the other hand there had been some delays over at the @TheTankTribune so there might be a bit more of a demand for "self-referential Newgrounds-stuff".
I will list the "most relevant"/"best" Blog/News Posts "of recent memory". I'll keep the definition hazy because I'm not that professional and because there are no prior posts from me in that regard, so it would not be unfair to include posts from a bit longer ago, since there would be no overlap.
And speaking of fairness...
Conditions
Just to make sure this happens fairly and transparently... I considered keeping the exact process more of a secret, but I thought making it more transparent could "inspire some thoughts". On top of that I like that I receive very little backlash* for the things I do and explaining my reasoning will help with keeping it like that.
* There is a little feedback every now and then and there are "requests to be reported and put on my block list" - which I usually grant. Who am I to get in the way of somebody's happiness if there are no downsides for anybody else... ;)
- I will not list my own posts. Obviously!
- Tutorials and guide posts will not be considered. Not because they wouldn't be worth reading, but if we're perfectly honest, many of those should be Wiki-articles or something similar. (We just don't have an open wiki.) They aren't really "blog" entries and could have their own list that's less focused on recent works. (My apologies to @ShangXian, who will be most affected by this decision.)
- Posts that serve as announcements or coverage for Collabs, meetups, or similar organizational things will not be considered.
- If a post is just a link or a collection of pictures from other artists they will not find their way into this list - even if they are profound, funny, or a clever and biting remark about the NG community. (Yes, those actually exist.)
- Posts that could be answered or otherwise resolved by referring to the official Newgrounds FAQ, or my first FAQ, or "You should ask your peers in the forums - not the void.", or "Only a Moderator of the Portal in question could give you a definitive answer to that.", or any other "one line reply" will not be considered.
- Pleas for help due to unemployment will not be considered. I feel for you, but in the end, that is (potentially) a periodical issue that could likely return the next month - as opposed to a one and done-deal. On top of that, relying on NG's community to pay your rent is an unsustainable play. I am very aware that there are times where you cannot do anything because you are waiting for replies, but that's what regular/discounted commissions are for. (I feel like 50% of the US commission posts I see are "emergency commissions". At this point, "emergencies" are the norm.)
- News Posts that are rated "A" (or should be rated "A") will not be considered. Because a significant part of my readers is underage or filters out "A"-related works. In the end, I want this post to be read. But pointing at something "A"- related and then saying "but 'the post you are currently reading' is rated 'under' that age - because I can 'get away with it'" is problematic. (And any mature adult would understand that.)
(This entire post could have been rated "E"; as could all the News Posts I linked to. The "T"-rating is a concession towards the artists who felt extra-careful. At the end of the day, everyone with an account here is old enough to read "T"-rated post anyway...)
- News Posts featured in my (Very) Adult Humor series of playlists (starting with [#003]) will also not be considered, even if they are rightfully rated "E". "This is this and that is that." They had their time in the spotlight from me.
- Spam posts would have no chance anyway, but just to be clear: Posting a "meme" or funny joke will not be considered, unless it happens to be a piece of art that you actually created yourself start to finish.
- News Posts that are about "interpersonal drama" will also not be considered, because, ultimately, those should have been Reports, PMs, or emails to begin with! "Us agreeing with you" doesn't change a bloody things. If somebody did something that requires intervention, ask the Moderators or staff for help - or (depending on what went down) your regionally responsible law enforcement. Even accounts of artist who did... "bad things" on other sites were deleted. Do you really think any abuser would be safe here?
- Any posts with cute animal photos are disqualified. Otherwise this would probably be 50% @Reganati & @SouSTAR posts. ;3
(What kind of campus do the French run where you meet 2 individual wild bunnies and a cat on the same day. There has to be a law against that... How do the French get anything done with cute animals everywhere? ;p )
- I doubt anybody gives a damn about this list, but just to be on the safe side (and for future-proofing): The comment section of said News Posts and whether on not I participated in said comment section will have zero influence on the listing. What's considered is the initial post by the original author.
Acknowledgement
Before I get to the actual ranking, I'd like to give thanks to @ShangXian for emotional support. Thank you for being there.
Ranking
#13
send help - by @magianfellow
This is the difference between a "person with a program who wants to make something" and an artist. ;)
#12
Hate web 3 - by @blushy-boy
Lack of follow-up aside, I think this is a good example of how one can announce their arrival/resumed activity on NG. (It certainly beats "I forgot about this site"-posts...)
#11
How drawing today went - by @KontraVersus
Very expressive, emotional, memorable, and original!
(Please Note: If you just copy this, you are not "original".)
#10
priDE MONth - by @TheGarbager619
There have been a ton of "Happy Pride Month" posts. Most of them were attempts to make "I said something"-posts - without actually saying anything. The rest seemed pretty genuine, but many did not have that much to say either. In the end, I had the choice between 3 posts that looked the most "feature-worthy" and @TheGarbager619 wrote the most important post of those three.
#9
2022: Every Day Ranked - by @S3C
It was interesting to see such a statistic for the first time and from my perspective he's quite a happy fellow. ;)
#8
Another day, another surgery - by @DrSevenSeizeMD
Personally, I'm just glad that surgery went well. But I also enjoyed this bit:
"I'm gonna tell people I got it from a knife fight with Tom."
– DrSevenSeizeMD, September 13th, 2024
And now you know a bit of Newgrounds-history. ;3
#7
Got in an Accident! (Help) - by @Porter
Porter had a car accident. No one got hurt but the adults in the room will know how essential having a working car becomes. And the total car repair bill is $2500! If you were looking to commission some art maybe have a look and see if his work appeals to you.
(Half of the repair bill has been covered since he made that initial post. See Update! +More updates for the update.)
#6
Animators! What's Your View Rank? NG Facts, Stats & Figures - by @alsoknownas1
I would slogan-ize NG's status like this:
"Newgrounds! – Not 'just' an adult site..."
That's right: The statistics that were presented confirm what has been clear for many years: Newgrounds.com is a website that can be configured to be "Family Friendly" (which is something completely different than "For Kids"). But at its core, NG is not for people under the age of 16. The simple problems I see our younger user base struggle with regularly make it clear that almost all of them are not ready for the adult's table. (Some of them are not even ready for the internet...)
#5
I'm back; Accepted into College! - by @YendorTOO
Yendor is back! "Hopefully..."
I wish Yendor the best either way!
#4
Team Montrose: The Saga Continues: Protests, Contests, Pro-Text, and Context! - by @CrimsonKero
I am under the impression that the average person on NG, be they artist or regular user, have very little clue as to how the site "works". Even less pay attention to the day-to day-dealings that take place on NG.
Personally, I noticed that the number of complaints about the Art Forum were increasing in the previous month or two. The difficulty comes from determining how much any kind of complaint is really justified. Most of users who speak up essentially complain about "having been caught" - because some people are just entitled shits! So we would rely on confirmation of what really went down, presented by a trusted third party, that is usually not available.
And that is what @CrimsonKero's post is: The trusted third party.
On a personal note: I began drafting up this Top 13 on the 14th last month. It started out so innocent: Some light activism, some funny News Posts, a fair bit of praise, some callback, some "actual news", a bit of dystopia... But if this year goes on like that, the next of these posts of mine will be me announcing my departure from NG because I don't feel safe in "my" community anymore... (After long consideration, I decided to refrain from commenting on the matter here further.)
#3
Internet Archive is in danger, and needs your help! - by @TangoStar
TangoStar's post triggered an (admittedly short) chain of posts from users trying to raise awareness. If they had not talked about it when they did, it might have taken weeks for anyone on NG to notice (and talk) about this.
Spreading awareness is much more important than collecting signatures. People can only think and talk about events that they knew are taking place.
(That is also how the "AAA games industry" gets away with so many horrible things: Not enough people care to inform themselves about how the people who make the games their community loves are treated like dirt by Activision CEO Bobby Kotick who protects rapists and seeks to exploit games, employees, and players alike.
And that is just one of those repulsive people...)
#2
Help Newgrounds Fight AI on the Audio Portal - by @Quest
Read all about the hell in NG's very own backyard...
You know... When I see "I am User of the Day!"-posts, I usually cheekily point out that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for them to capitalize on the extra attention they are getting. That they could do something more meaningful than just step up to the microphone and announce "I am User of the Day! Thank you everyone! That is all."
But Quest was actually doing exactly that: He seized the opportunity and used it for doing his part in saving the world!
And I am very proud to share a community with him! :)
#1
I left Russia 3 years ago. - by @Irisia
Irisia is a trans woman who is fighting for her life! She escaped one land that declared her and thousands of other queer and trans people "outlawed" (legislation which in itself is already utterly insane), just to have the same thing happen to her in her new "home".
I have no money to speak of... no political power... no clue how political asylum applies to these cases... and despite being one who hands out tons of advice in these Artist News, everything I "could" say in her situation always feels so... inadequate. At the end of the day, like presumably many others, I feel paralyzed by the situation. I do not expect my "next to no reach" will amount to much, but at the same time, I think if I'm doing this post already, her situation deserves the brightest spotlight.
She also asked me to add the following:
"Moving from a land where I saw no perspective on my life and where it was a matter of time before I could lose an opportunity for it forever already was a real miracle because I wasn't on the level when I could afford something that could change my life and make me value it. It hasn't changed much since then, and planning a move due to safety reasons for the second time that I started almost a year ago, when I became illegal in a new country as a trans girl (and soon it will become easier for the local security to deport me), was a thing that I considered impossible. Since then, I have sacrificed everything in my personal life to make it happen because my identity is what helped me to start loving myself. And I will fight for it and my own future, whatever it takes."
Would you rather not be here?
Please note that I talked to the authors of posts where money was involved. Because (even one-sided) association with me could potentially have consequences. I'm doing my fair share of helping others and I'm as diplomatic as the people I talk to - but I say what's on my mind. I'm not here to make friends; I'm here to help others (mostly artists). And if that involves brutal honesty I will tell even people I like if I do not think highly of their artistic output.
If your name is included in this list and you do not want your posts to be listed, just drop me a PM. I will remove the mention of your post as quickly as I am able and will not ask any questions. (Just be mindful that I am not on NG 24/7 before you start complaining.)
Addendum 2025-06-13: All the weak wordings and typos I did not notice at first should be corrected by now. (I do all of my own proofreading - and it probably shows.) I also added some simple links, for your convenience.
Also: I'm proud that I finally managed to publish a timely Top 13 list on a Friday the 13th since it was my only chance to do it in 2025. If you are bothered by that number, I have just the animation for you made by @FrankHardon, who covers occult and "supernatural" topics.